OPINION: Chris Hipkins wants another shot at power. The problem? He’s surrounded by lunatics.
The Green Party is no longer a political movement. It’s where activism meets instability. Almost four out of five of their long-serving MPs in the past five years have been caught in conduct so erratic, so unhinged, that in any other party, it’d end their careers. In the Greens, it’s practically a CV requirement.
Golriz Ghahraman — the human rights lawyer turned serial shoplifter. Elizabeth Kerekere — flung out for bullying and screaming tantrums. Julie Anne Genter — censured for storming across Parliament to berate MPs, and accused of harassing local shopkeepers. Ricardo ‘River to the Sea’ Menéndez March — migrating to NZ and then saying he shouldn’t have to swear allegiance to the crown. Darlene Tana — implicated in migrant exploitation. Her replacement? Benjamin Doyle, who brought a grotesque collection of sexually freaky social media posts with him. Even the stand-ins need damage control.
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And let’s not forget Tamatha Paul — the “defund the police” fangirl — or Chlöe Swarbrick, still flogging weed legalisation like it’s a social justice crusade rather than a boutique cause for white K Road liberals. Legal weed, for most, means state-sanctioned sedation. For kids with useless parents, it’s not liberation — it’s a pipeline to dysfunction and dependency. Best case scenario: a seat on the Green Party list.
Teanau Tuiono and Marama Davidson are the only ones who haven’t completely detonated — yet.
But if the Greens are chaotic, Te Pāti Māori are actively dangerous.
This is a party that treats Parliament like a stage for race-baiting performance art. Their MPs breached House rules to perform a haka during a vote, to intimidate opponents. Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke, their rising star, faked a hate crime. Claimed she was the victim of a (seemingly) racially motivated ram raid. A fabrication. No consequences. No apology. Just more TikTok uploads and martyrdom cosplay.
And while you were digesting that, there were the allegations: theft of census data. Vouchers-for-votes bribes. Polling booths inside the candidate’s own marae. Their leaders didn’t even turn up for the Budget. They want the parliamentary paycheck while openly working to dismantle it.
It’s Sinn Féin cosplay without the discipline.
So let’s be blunt: who’s Hipkins supposed to govern with? A weed-obsessed activist caucus held together by HR reports? Or a race-based movement that lies, breaks rules, and has nothing but contempt for the system it sits inside?
Labour can’t win alone. Hipkins needs allies. But his would-be partners are either collapsing in scandal, inventing hate crimes, or threatening to burn the place down (figuratively at this point, at least).
New Zealand deserves a government, not a support group for political dysfunction. Until the Left sorts itself out, Hipkins has no credible path to power — just a front-bench seat in the circus.
-JL
The views expressed in this opinion piece are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of AoteaGBI.news
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